What the most thing my soul wants ?

München, 01.02.2012

22:19 p.m

As I learnt during my life journey in Germany this 1.5 years (almost), I realized that human being is not only having a physical body, but also a soul/spirit (“jiwa”-in Indonesia). That’s why I know now, that if I am not in peace, having problem with my own life, it means there is something wrong with my soul. And the question which I ask regulary to my self / mind is :

“Who I am ?” ; “How is my being ?” ; “What the most thing I want for my soul?”

This is important, because it gives you direction, somehow it guides you toward your soul’s goul, and how your being is reflected for what you are doing.

They (the questions which I mentioned above) are reflective questions, so I do not answer by words, but my soul somehow know the answers.

One of the answer is Peace. Yes…peace. The most thing that my soul want is peace. That’s all. Then, the next question arises, “How do I attain peace ?”

And I can answer : through SILENT.

And how do I attain Silent ?

And the answer is : by MEDITATION.

But what is meditation ? How do I do it ?

And the answer is : through SILENT.

So, I find the most important thing for my soul is being in peace, rest...and I can attain that through SILENT, through MEDITATION.

May the peace always be with you…

Merry Christmas, Selamat Natal, Sugeng Wiyosan nDalem Gusti, Frohe Weihnachten!

Munich, 25 December 2011

01:00 a.m

This year maybe the BEST Christmas I have ever had in Germany. Not because the party, not because the presents, but because I feel it with my heart. Sometimes I asked to my mind, “What a Christmas is?” Is it just a ritual, a ceremonial thing, a party, or time to exchange presents? All the materials things would not satisfy my mind.

But, today, I share almost whole my day to become the present for other. I recalled my programming in my mind that, “the more you give and the more you will have“. I called it the Law of Giving. And today I shared my time, strength, and thought to the people surround me, so they call feel also the spirit of Christmas.

It was started at 9 a.m, when I helped Sr.Columba to prepare the Johanes-saal (dining room in Johannes-Kolleg, a dormitory where I lived now). I helped her with two of the Colleague, Sujit and Hiralal. We worked for almost 3 hours, decorating the Chrismas tree, prepare everything for Christmas dinner. Then, at 17 p.m, we started cooking for dinner. Then, at 19 p.m, we celebrated the coming of the Light to this world through Eucharist. I was serving as an Altar-boy (misdinar). Then, at 21-24 we had Christmas dinner.

I was a bit tired today, but I want to share that Christmas has a meaning of “sharing” for me. Sharing means not only asking and asking, but offering and giving. In this case, I offered my time, dedication, energy, and strength. As the Law of Giving applied to me, so the more I give, the more I received. So, the Universe had giving me such a wonderful feeling of Christmas. I feel peace, relax, and calm. That’s what other people try to find, but they are hardly to find. So, all I want for Christmas is peace.

And “how can you attain peace?” Simple answer : through SILENT.

But, “how you attain SILENT?” Simple answer (but hardly to do : through Meditation). Yes, through Meditation, I know the essential meaning of Christmas, that I have the FIRE in my heart. FIRE means transformation, a new way of looking at something. And by changing the mind (way of looking at something, I transform my self).

And “how do I create the FIRE?” It is through prayer. Look here at my previous writing on what a prayer is.

As conclusion, I find the deeply meaning of Christmas not only at the surface, but also inner-side, which is : Prayer-Silent-Meditation-FIRE-Transformation-NATAL (New way of thinking)-Peace

May the Peace be in you and all over the world. May the world be a peace place to live in.

Have a blessed Christmas!

Antonius Santoso

A youtube video of SILENT NIGHT by Trie Utami (Indonesian actress) can be see here